4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
