So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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