he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
