I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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