you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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