You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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