i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
