dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
