Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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