Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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