Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1403) Bad night (3748) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.

  (1-218): View more from Minnesota

  i gets down

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  (218): out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down. (1-218): i gets down http://tfl.nu/usv6
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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  (404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t
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  (972): View more from Texas

  So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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  (972): So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office. http://tfl.nu/rm9r
  Replies (45) Good night (1401) Bad night (5708) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

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  (484): We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE. (610): You just said the magic words http://tfl.nu/8k47
  Replies (24) Good night (5660) Bad night (919)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall

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  (248): had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall http://tfl.nu/12ne
  Replies (3) Good night (2239) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.

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  (908): You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/yznu
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  (323): View more from California

  Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

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  (323): Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it. http://tfl.nu/2u3k
  Replies (9) Good night (2648) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1685) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.

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  (302): I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not. http://tfl.nu/ul0b
  Replies (16) Good night (1405) Bad night (516)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."

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  (512): I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy." http://tfl.nu/udmr
  Replies (15) Good night (1463) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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  (512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke
  Replies (13) Good night (456) Bad night (1691)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. 

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  (778): Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.  http://tfl.nu/s2ri
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.

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  (914): Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket. http://tfl.nu/amsn
  Replies (4) Good night (1709) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.

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  (775): Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital. http://tfl.nu/63us
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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