i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
