and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
