my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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