I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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