Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
