the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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