Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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