help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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