He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You ruined the universe
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
