Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
