HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
