yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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