The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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