Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
