Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
