He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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