the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere