is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
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