She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
