Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm way too hungover for life right now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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