In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
