His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
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I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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