pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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