there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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