I want to stick my p in your. b.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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