the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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