remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize