at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize