he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
