Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
