So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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