ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
