Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's blow job season.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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