Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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