Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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