Where did you get a picture of my penis
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
