wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
