i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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