He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
