i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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