Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
