I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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