i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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