hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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