ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
