I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
