No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
