She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
