So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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