I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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