is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
