Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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